The Daily Show nailed it

"250k is nearly poverty when sending 4 kids to college."

That is such a fucking insult to the families that are ACTUALLY at the poverty level, which would be about $22,000 for a family of four in America. How are those families, with 10% of the income, managing?

Easy, they don't send their kids to college. Why would poor people need to go to college anyway, right?

The poor CEOs of banks that have to pay their mortgages and pay for college for their kids on the millions of dollars of salary they earned for fucking over our entire country.

I think it's pretty good, but not if you're alone or scared or dead or something like that.

There's a difference between being poor
(not having enough money to get by)
and feeling poor (not being satisfied
with the things you do have.)

To: The World

Potatoes are better at representing love than the current symbol of the flower. There are a lot of reasons why potatoes excel at this.

The first reason is that roses only last a couple weeks and that's if you leave them in water. That's like saying "My love for you is transitory".

But a potato! Potatoes last for a long time. In fact, not only will they not rot, but they actually grow stuff even if you just leave them in the sack! That part alone makes it a good symbol. But wait, there's more!

There are so many ways to enjoy a potato! You can even make a battery with it! That's like saying: "I have many ways in which I show my love for you".

Flowers really only exist to be pretty so that's like saying: "My love for you is based solely on your appearance". Potatoes may be ugly, but they're still awesome. So that's like saying: "It doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you".

For these reasons and more, we would like to see potatoes become the mainstream symbol for love and friendship.

So on Valentine's Day, anniversaries, birthdays, and ANY other gift giving occasion: save a flower, give a potato.

Sincerely, your pal Mike